Lets talk about the dreaded topic: DEATH

Merriam Webster online defines it as:

• Main Entry: death
• Pronunciation: \ˈdeth\
• Function: noun
• Etymology: Middle English deeth, from Old English dēath; akin to Old Norse dauthi death, deyja to die — more at die
• Date: before 12th century

1 a : a permanent cessation of all vital functions : the end of life — compare brain death b : an instance of dying deaths>
2 a : the cause or occasion of loss of life death of him> b : a cause of ruin death to my character — Wilkie Collins>
3 capitalized : the destroyer of life represented usually as a skeleton with a scythe
4 : the state of being dead
5 a : the passing or destruction of something inanimate death of vaudeville> b : extinction
6 : civil death
7 : slaughter
8 Christian Science : the lie of life in matter : that which is unreal and untrue

— at death's door : close to death : critically ill

— to death : beyond endurance : excessively to death>

To most people death is loss, for some the end, and to others destruction.

My father died a few years back, it was the very first time I realize what death was. To any one who has not yet lost someone important attending a wake is just like going to an occasion. It is something that one must attend or else you will be branded. it has become part of human culture to celebrate death. Celebrate not in a sense that we are joyful about it but rather we take apart of our time to devote it to those who are left behind.

Dad died about three months after a stroke. His main cause of his demise was due to complication of his other illnesses that were not made known to us. Before all that I believed my siblings had observed that he was afraid to go to see a physician. During his wake one of my relatives has told us that he once mentioned that he wont reach 60 just like the rest of  his male siblings, he was 59 when he died.

What did I realize about death?Death defines a person.

Hours after my dad died lots of people came to our house even before his body was brought in. Most of them our relatives from bought clan of my fathers father and mother side. In the early morning people from our small barangay came upon hearing the news. Then at mid-day any one from town who new him came. Wailings and cries are all you hear.

During the wake people do not talk about his mistakes, his irrationality, or even his odd ways. People talk about the good things he did. We hear stories recounted and told about the good things his decisions made during his tenure as barangay captain. Wise advice he gave to young men and friends were again heard. Great adventures were told again and again. Even persons from far that our family doesn't even know came to pay respect. There was an old man that came early morning about the second or third day of the wake who would like to see my dad. My mom doesn't even know him but upon telling his story about my dad she remembers that my dad gave a chicken to this man years back when we were raising poultry.

Also there are two aspect of death that I have seen. First it brings together families. Second it pushes respect to authority.

Nearly all my uncles and aunts were there and some of my dad's siblings from my grandfather's first marriage came. Relatives that became rivals in politics came and face each other civilly. Relatives from far away places try their very best to come. It's like a big family re-union. As much as it is a time of mourning it was also a time of celebration. cousins whom we haven't seen yet were introduce, husbands or wives of relatives were introduce, even suitors or boyfriend/girlfriend were introduce.

Things like where will we bury the remains, the arrangements etc are all discuss and opinions of elder siblings, uncle or aunts are first consulted before doing any actions. Decision was handed to the eldest as a respect for seniority. All even superstitious beliefs are followed. Most of the belief my relatives keep on telling us where all not to do. It was funny but even though some don't make sense we still follow them out of respect to these older people telling this beliefs.

In the end death should always be a celebration of life.And this celebration of the deceased defines who he or she really was.